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  • A Candid Interview With America’s ‘Boner Rower’: Uncooperative Penises Are ‘A Recurring Problem With Rowers’

    Tough luck, Gabby Douglas, Henrik Rummel’s penis is the new sweetheart of the 2012 Olympics. Rummel burst into internet fame over the last 48 hours since photos of his large-but-not-giant non-boner stole the spotlight from him and his three teammates during their medal ceremony Saturday afternoon. (Rummel’s penis was not awarded a medal, even though it is a comparable size to most coxswain.)

    We reached out to the Olympic medalist this morning and he was gracious enough to get back to us this afternoon even though he’s still swinging around London with his girlfriend.

    What was your initial reaction when the story of your boner hit the internet? Have you gotten a lot of feedback? New fans?
    I laughed very hard! I woke up my girlfriend and told her the story. Then I told everyone else I knew, except my parents.

    Has anything like this ever come up before?
    This is a recurring problem with rowers. The spandex doesn’t leave a lot to the imagination and there are many unflattering awards dock photos out there. I haven’t heard of any erections occurring on the podium.

    Was that your girlfriend in the Reddit picture? What’s she think?
    Yes, that’s my girlfriend. She would’ve preferred if it had never happened, but she appreciates the humor behind her boyfriend’s package going viral! I think this is great! The internet is a mysterious place, and I would’ve never thought I’d become more famous for wearing spandex than for winning an Olympic medal!

    I don’t know if you’ve seen them, but Gawker and Deadspin both published follow-up posts debating your size. Any comment on either of those?
    For the sake of my parents I will not comment on the actual measurements in question, but I do appreciate the time and effort John Cook put in to analyzing my package. :)

    So, come on: was it a boner?
    Nope! If I did have one you can bet I would’ve tried harder to cover it up with the flowers. Those spandex are pretty tight fitting and whatever position it happens to be captured in, it’s staying that way.

    Anything else?

    Go USA!

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